As dance class was about to begin, I
struck up a conversation with my friend Dana, who was trying the class for the
first time. “You’re going to love this class,” I told her, and explained how I’ve been enjoying these classes
for the past couple months. I haven’t danced frequently since college, but now
I’m getting back into it.
In
January, I attended a dance class by accident. Sara, the mother of a child in
my daughter’s preschool, invited us to a Chanukah dance jam which I thought was
for children. As it turned out, the session was for adults, and I enjoyed it so
much that I ended up going to Sara’s classes regularly. On days when I take the
dance class, I feel more energetic and upbeat for the rest of the day and focused
when I’m with the kids. I feel a bit funny about spending time and money on
myself, but dancing is so uplifting that it’s worth it.
Dana explained that she had studied
piano when she was younger. She has wanted to buy a piano for years but other
expenses always take precedence. She’s been thinking that since playing piano
for fifteen minutes each day will relax her and make her a better mom then it
might be an important priority after all. Dana explained that she noticed that
around age forty a lot of women are finding or rediscovering their passions,
and it’s exciting to see. Some friends are going back to school; others are
changing careers or pursuing new hobbies.
This
week’s portion contains a reiteration of the famous commandment to honor our
parents. A central chapter of the Torah called the Holiness Code begins with a
broad proclamation of principle: “You shall be holy, for I, the Lord Your God,
am holy.”
The very next line offers the first specific instruction on how to achieve that
goal: “Each person shall respect their mother and father…”
Perhaps
in addition to honoring our parents, we also need to respect what makes us
better parents. This spring I’m taking that commandment more seriously.
With
both my step-mother and mother-in-law living locally, Mother’s Day is normally
a very busy day for our family. On Mother’s Day, I typically have lunch with my
step-mother and dinner with my mother-in-law – making sure to call my
grandmother in Connecticut and step-grandmother in New York between meals.
Fittingly, the anniversary of my mother’s death falls on the day before
mother’s day this year, so l said kaddish
(the memorial prayer) for her at synagogue yesterday.
This
Mother’s day, I’m making one change in the usual plan. Before heading off to
pay tribute to my “mothers,” I started the day off with a dance class.
Each
one of us has things that can help us be more patient with our kids and more
passionate in our activities. This mother’s day, in addition to honoring our
parents, let’s also honor what we need to be great parents and vivacious
people.
I
hope that Dana decides to get her piano soon. In the meantime, I’ll definitely
be dancing.
